Students fake symptoms for extensions

by N. Rahimi Azmi

May 5, 2008

STUDENTS are resorting to harmful practices to fake illnesses, in order to obtain medical certificates for assignment extensions.

University lecturers and tutors accept medical certificates as a legitimate excuse for not handing assignments in on time. And Daniel Reizman, a local uni student, admitted that at times he’d resorted to underhanded tactics to avoid penalties for late submission.

“You will not be given a medical certificate just by saying you are not feeling too well,” Mr Reizman said. “You got to prove it.

“All you have to do is swallow a tube of Colgate before seeing the doctor and you are guaranteed to be diagnosed with fever.”

Some of the common sicknesses faked are migraine, diarrhoea, sore eyes, headache and depression, all of which are difficult to physically examine.

According to another student, Rush (surname withheld), getting sore eyes is just a rub away.

“Just rub the tobacco in cigarettes onto either one of your eyes,” he advised, “and in an instant, you will have blood shot eyes that warrant a medical certificate.”

There are various other methods used to mislead doctors into thinking their patients are too crook to attend uni.

“Methods like drinking fizzy drinks first thing in the morning would cause a doctor to think that you are suffering from gastric pains,” Rush added. “The gas in an empty stomach causes it to bloat and produce discomfort when firmly pressed to be examined.”

A Murdoch-based medico told eMU News it wasn’t worth doctors’ time to question fake symptoms. 

“Doctors wouldn’t go through the trouble just to verify the authenticity of their claims,” said Dr Andy Papa-Adams of St John of God Hospital. “It’s their problem as it is their education we are talking about, not mine.”